Lead Like a Girl by Leading Like You Shop!

Girls KNOW how to shop! And guess what...they know how to lead too! Who knew they were linked?! :-)

The birthday girl (Steph--in the center with her vibrant pink dress) & her crew at Barbourville Winery where our wine pourer Jeff informed us of his theory on the differences between how men & women shop.

It’s funny how people say things to you that make you think, “Yeah…why didn’t I think of that?!” I had one such experience this weekend while I was wine tasting with seven girls out at Barbourville Winery in Charlottesville, VA.

I’m the first to admit that seven girls doing anything is not a recipe for going unnoticed. Add to that it was one girl’s birthday, that everyone looked smashing since we had just brunched at Kenswick Hall down the road and suddenly you have all eyes on the girls!

Our wine pourer, Jeff, was totally amused. He had all sorts of fun commentary for us (including my favorite, “You spill on it, you buy it!”). He even let us come back behind the bar for a commemorative photo of the day, which he harassed some passer-by to come take, diverting the poor man from his trip to the restroom.

In all the madness (and shortly after the ‘you spill on it, you buy it’ comment), Jeff asked if we had ever noticed the difference between the way men and women shopped. Huh?

Clearly there are many differences…the main one being most men I know would rather take a hot poker in the eye than go shopping. But Jeff had a whole different take on it. One I thought would be appropriate to share here under our banner of “Lead Like a Girl!”

Jeff said if you ever look at men in stores, they aren’t really touching anything. They have their hands in their pockets or behind their backs and make a beeline directly to the particular item they came in to buy. He enlightened us as to the reason why, sharing that since they were little, most boys’ mothers shouted a constant axiom of, “Don’t touch that…hands off!”

This apparently carried over into adulthood for Jeff (and he swears he sees other men do it too) as he continues to shop with his hands in his pockets, not touching anything but the item he intends to purchase. He said he marvels at the way women shop…feeling textures, touching every thing they pass, discovering new items they hadn’t even known they wanted five minutes ago. They shop with their hands everywhere BUT in their pockets.

I couldn’t help but to think this is another reflection on how we lead. Men do tend to be more direct and to the point. They go after precisely what they want and view spending time on items not on that path as a waste of time. And often, they prefer those they lead act the same way. Don’t fool around with things other than the mission. Get in, get out.

Women, on the other hand, want to “touch everything”…just like when they shop. They want to know the people they are working with (“How’s your family?” or “What did you do this weekend?”). They like to explore alternative ideas that might provide a better way of operating. They don’t view any of this as a waste of time, but rather “trying ideas on for size” if you will. If they work, great! Let’s buy ‘em! If not, we’ll grab another idea to try on and see where that gets us. We could leave with nothing or we might just find that one item that becomes indispensable…the one you didn’t even know about five minutes ago. Either way, it’s the journey that is important, not the destination.

Whether it’s shopping or brainstorming ideas for a big project, women are ok with wandering about looking for just the right thing…even if they have no idea what that right thing is. The journey leaves room for others to contribute, give ideas, make suggestions, or even be the one to provide the perfect solution.

No hands in our pockets here. We want people to touch, try-on, and get messy if it will help us achieve our vision.

That is precisely how I found a pair of Dolce & Gabana, pink brocade shoes once worn by Oprah. And how I was able to purchase them to use in my work and therefore make them tax deductible (thanks, Mom for that great idea).

So go. Shop. Try things on. And be ok with being messy and know that you might find something you didn’t even know you couldn’t live without. Then do the same thing in your life and work. You’ll be amazed with the creativity and vision you’ll inspire in those around you!