How to Lead Like a Girl...Road Trip Style!

Nothing says fun like a road trip...but what does that mean about how we lead?

Have you ever noticed the differences between men & women on a road trip? I mean aside from the obvious. Clearly only one group would choose to listen to Metallica’s Greatest Hits half way across country. Have you ever taken it a step farther and thought about how these differences might translate into how we lead? Ok, maybe that’s just me…I seem to look for leadership in everything. But I swear it’s true…the way we take road trips translates into how we lead.

I’m guessing for the most part most girls have been on a “guys only” road trip. We are, after all, girls! Doesn’t our mere presence CHANGE the way the road trip happens? Of course. But…having gone to a mostly male university and then spending seven years in the army, I had the (mis?)fortune of sometimes being viewed as “one of the guys.” It was almost as if they forgot I wore lip gloss and high heels when I wasn’t in uniform. Sheesh!

The good news is that these adventures let me see some interesting difference between the male & female way of life and start to understand how the other half lives.

So let me paint a picture for you.

Girls on the Open Road
When setting out on a road trip, girls get a little giddy and excited to be spending time together. Everyone piles in the car, no real worry about who sits where as we know there will be lots of giggling and conversation no matter where we may end up in the car. There may be a specific destination or purpose for the trip…or maybe it’s just a trip to the mall to grab lunch and see what’s on sale.

Girls start cruising down the open road (or around town) with a list of topics we can’t wait to discuss. Did you see last night’s episode of our favorite show? Who are you dating and is it going well? What are you using in your hair…it looks fabulous! How are the kids and have they done anything funny lately? What’s going on at work and is your boss still a huge pain in the a**? And on & on. Never once on a girls’ road trip have I run out of things to talk about. Ever!

Sometimes when the standard topics run dry, we end up talking about spirituality, deep feelings, and I’m pretty sure we’ve solved major world issues once or twice…all while cruising down the highway listening to a road trip CD of our favorite songs, which somebody burned just for this particular adventure.

And speaking of music, here’s where we have a MAJOR difference from the guys.
When we get in the car and pop in the CD burned just for the trip (which probably includes at least one song by the Indigo Girls, usually ‘Closer to Fine’ or ‘Galileo’), we set the volume to low and commence conversation immediately with our life’s soundtrack in the background.

When that Indigo Girls song does start playing, someone in the front responds to the phrase, “Oh, I love this one…turn it up!” At this point, the music is blared and the passengers sing along to the parts of the song they know. EVERYONE joins in on the chorus, using hairbrushes or water bottles as make-shift microphones. One talented person usually knows how to sing harmony and for just a moment we transform into our own version of a girl-band (30-something or 40-something style). It’s a hoot!

After the song is over, the volume returns to low and the conversation continues where it left off. Until the next favorite song comes on…then the singing scene happens all over again! But the ride is definitely a conversation punctuated with bouts of singing as loud as we can into our Evian bottles.

If, for some reason, girls get lost on a road trip, they pull into a gas station to ask for directions. This is a great chance to use the restroom, restock on fun candy you only find at gas stations, and chat with people who might know about interesting stuff to do in the area. Also, girls are never lost…they’re just on what my friend Sara likes to call, a “tiki tour.” Besides…the wrong turns are often the best adventures! Not knowing where you are just means you might accidentally stumble across a hidden road trip treasure like the world’s largest ball of yarn or a goat farm in Amish country where you can take a buggy ride with Joseph, the 80-year old Amish farmer. What’s the down side of that?!

Purpose of the trip: irrelevant…the bonding is fantastic! (**Note: The original purpose is accomplished…only in a much grander fashion than possibly imagined!)

Guys on the Open Road
When guys set out on a car trip, there is definitely a pecking order of who sits where and it is known well before the guys ever approach the car. Just like the show Entourage. Have you ever seen Vince anywhere but the front seat? Or Turtle anywhere but behind the wheel? Guys need to have a specific destination to hit and if it involves shopping, there’s a list…or at least a specific item in mind. Guys want to be in and out of the store as quickly as possible. No dilly-dallying.

The play list on a guy’s trip is quite different than their female counterparts. Guys do not have special CDs just for their road trips. They have an iPod with all the Metallica, Pink Floyd, and AC/DC songs ever written. Recorded and live versions.

When they get in the car, the volume is already pumped up pretty high…and there’s no need to turn it down just because there are passengers. The volume is probably what the passengers are hoping for and expect.

Driving commences and the music continues to play loud and long. There’s no reason to turn it down until one guy adjusts the volume and says to the rest of the car, “Are you hungry?” This means HE is hungry and wants to stop. Everyone generally agrees to stop at the next exit and then the music returns to its full volume.

And just for the record…guys don’t get lost. And more importantly, no guy would ever suggest to another guy that he pull in somewhere and ask for directions. There’s a code…and that would definitely be breaking it.

Purpose of the trip: to get where they are going.

So what does this say about how we lead?

Well…I think it says a lot! More importantly, I think there are some really positive things women naturally do that they might not recognize as talents, skills or gifts. Let’s take a look at the top three things women do on road trips that translate into smart business:

1. Women tend to create environments where open communication is easy. Not only is it easy, it’s expected. Everyone gets to contribute. Ideas vetted by people with opposing views tend to be stronger and when everyone is encouraged to participate early in the process, mistakes can be identified sooner at a lower cost.


2. Women, while like men in that they set out to accomplish a specific mission, are open to detours that may lead to better ideas. Making great time to the hotel is good. Making good to time to the hotel and getting to tour the nation’s largest basket factory…which is ACTUALLY shaped like a basket…is even better. In business this could mean stumbling upon the next big thing because you weren’t in a hurry to go directly from A to B.


3. Not having the same pecking order every time leads to well-rounded car-trippers (Hey look…I can backseat drive AND operate the radio). It also leads to people who can step into other roles when there are changes within an organization. If all I’ve ever done is sit in the backseat, I may not be a good navigator when you need one. And you’re going nowhere fast without a good navigator. Women tend to give different people chances to learn and grow into the roles they may step into in the future.

And there you have it…proof that singing into your water bottle and discussing hair products really does lead to better business decisions. So go ahead. Burn a CD of your favorite tunes, gather your girlfriends, and take the road less traveled. You’re next great work or life idea may just come to you on the 2nd chorus of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun!”