Coupons...not just for girls anymore!I seem to spend a lot of my time these days looking for subtle (or not so subtle) differences between the way men and women to things. Once I find a difference, I start thinking about it and building an essay, list or scenario about how that difference translates into leadership styles.
The other day I was clipping coupons and thought to myself, “Aha! Coupons…there’s something a guy would never do! And it must point to some difference in the way men & women handle money. Yes…I’ll look for some stats on that.”
So the seed of my idea was planted. Not long after, I discovered links to a few articles and books about women and finances. Perfect! This was coming together too easily!
Until my next trip to the local Target.
I was helping a friend of mine decorate for a big event she’d been hired to put on. The night before, I’d been up at her place until the wee hours of the morning ironing stitch witchery along the uneven cuts on some fabric so we could fashion table runners for the event’s check-in table. Now I was at Target buying strings of white lights (for ambiance) before I headed over to meet her at the venue.
Right in front of me was a young man with a baby. He appeared to be a single dad (no wedding ring). He also appeared to be doing a fabulous job managing his shopping and keeping the baby entertained. I watched as he placed his items on the belt and the clerk rang each one up. When she finished and told the man his total he said, “Actually, I have these,” as he handed her a small stack of coupons.
Eh? What was this guy doing?! In that moment a million things ran through my head:
--Is this guy serious?
--What self respecting dude uses coupons?
--Where did he get those…because I could really use a few of them?
--You just blew my stereotype. Now what am I going to write about?
A little perplexed but still certain men & women really ARE different, I continued on to the event venue to meet my friend. When I got there, she was in full party planning mode and the decorations were flying. She’d give an order and 3 or 4 guys would carry it out. In essence, she was the brain, they were the brawn!
After awhile, we’d finished the heavy lifting and were down to the little details. My friend pulled out the table runners just as the guy who’d been in charge of decorations the previous year came into the building. He headed over to our table and we all started chatting. At one point, I mentioned my late night, stitch witchery, and never wanting to see an iron again. And then this guy says, “Did you ever consider using pinking shears?”
Eh? Again…for the second time that day…a guy left me a bit speechless. Pinking shears? Since when do guys mess around with pinking shears? And what was he talking about?
“Yeah,” he continued (probably because my friend and I were staring at him a bit dumbfounded), “they’re great for doing table runners. The uneven edge hides any frayed spots or places you didn’t cut exactly straight. Saves a lot of time.”
Yep. Speechless.
We continued chatting with the man who actually knew tons about event planning & may have even given us some cooking tips…I was too shell shocked at that point to take any more in.
I know what you’re thinking. There are lots of men who clip coupons and can dish out decorating tips…and they’re all gay. Not true. Both of the guys I’d encountered were brawny, manly types. They COMPLETELY shattered the stereotype I’d been building in my head since deciding to write about coupon clipping.
Ever since that day, I’m a little bit more careful before rushing to categorize people. And you know what…I’ve been pretty surprised at some of the things I’ve learned.
Stereotypes definitely exist for a reason. In many cases, they’re totally true and can certainly provide us with clues on how to approach, interact with, and lead people. But very rarely do they tell the WHOLE story.
So let yourself be shocked by what the people in your life know, do, & enjoy. Yes, even the men. Ask them to share something surprising about themselves with you. And revel in the sameness you discover the two of you share!
The other day I was clipping coupons and thought to myself, “Aha! Coupons…there’s something a guy would never do! And it must point to some difference in the way men & women handle money. Yes…I’ll look for some stats on that.”
So the seed of my idea was planted. Not long after, I discovered links to a few articles and books about women and finances. Perfect! This was coming together too easily!
Until my next trip to the local Target.
I was helping a friend of mine decorate for a big event she’d been hired to put on. The night before, I’d been up at her place until the wee hours of the morning ironing stitch witchery along the uneven cuts on some fabric so we could fashion table runners for the event’s check-in table. Now I was at Target buying strings of white lights (for ambiance) before I headed over to meet her at the venue.
Right in front of me was a young man with a baby. He appeared to be a single dad (no wedding ring). He also appeared to be doing a fabulous job managing his shopping and keeping the baby entertained. I watched as he placed his items on the belt and the clerk rang each one up. When she finished and told the man his total he said, “Actually, I have these,” as he handed her a small stack of coupons.
Eh? What was this guy doing?! In that moment a million things ran through my head:
--Is this guy serious?
--What self respecting dude uses coupons?
--Where did he get those…because I could really use a few of them?
--You just blew my stereotype. Now what am I going to write about?
A little perplexed but still certain men & women really ARE different, I continued on to the event venue to meet my friend. When I got there, she was in full party planning mode and the decorations were flying. She’d give an order and 3 or 4 guys would carry it out. In essence, she was the brain, they were the brawn!
After awhile, we’d finished the heavy lifting and were down to the little details. My friend pulled out the table runners just as the guy who’d been in charge of decorations the previous year came into the building. He headed over to our table and we all started chatting. At one point, I mentioned my late night, stitch witchery, and never wanting to see an iron again. And then this guy says, “Did you ever consider using pinking shears?”
Eh? Again…for the second time that day…a guy left me a bit speechless. Pinking shears? Since when do guys mess around with pinking shears? And what was he talking about?
“Yeah,” he continued (probably because my friend and I were staring at him a bit dumbfounded), “they’re great for doing table runners. The uneven edge hides any frayed spots or places you didn’t cut exactly straight. Saves a lot of time.”
Yep. Speechless.
We continued chatting with the man who actually knew tons about event planning & may have even given us some cooking tips…I was too shell shocked at that point to take any more in.
I know what you’re thinking. There are lots of men who clip coupons and can dish out decorating tips…and they’re all gay. Not true. Both of the guys I’d encountered were brawny, manly types. They COMPLETELY shattered the stereotype I’d been building in my head since deciding to write about coupon clipping.
Ever since that day, I’m a little bit more careful before rushing to categorize people. And you know what…I’ve been pretty surprised at some of the things I’ve learned.
Stereotypes definitely exist for a reason. In many cases, they’re totally true and can certainly provide us with clues on how to approach, interact with, and lead people. But very rarely do they tell the WHOLE story.
So let yourself be shocked by what the people in your life know, do, & enjoy. Yes, even the men. Ask them to share something surprising about themselves with you. And revel in the sameness you discover the two of you share!
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