Women & Leadership Webinar

Are you actually BETTER equipped to lead in today's corporate culture than your male counterparts?

Want to find out why women are better positioned to lead in today's corporate culture? Register for this FREE webinar hosted by Rowley Associates based on their recent report and see how just being a woman might help you excel in corporate America! (There were only 9 seats left when I last checked the link...so hurry!!)

Webinar Registration Link: http://bit.ly/4xmTZ6

Glamourous Women, Great Advice

Amy Pohler...still funny and giving great advice to girls as she received one of Glamour's 2009 Women of the Year awards!

Women continue to inspire & amaze people. We're not sure why...since women have always had the capacity to do amazing things. Apparently people are just paying closer attention now!

Glamour Magazine honored a bevy of talented and brave women at their 2009 Women of the Year gala earlier this week. Honorees included Maya Angelou, Stella McCartney, Amy Pohler, and Google genius Marissa Mayer among others.

As one of the recipients, Amy Pohler's acceptance speech included my favorite piece of advice from the evening:

"Girls, if boys say something that isn't funny...you don't have to laugh!"

Ah, the honesty to only laugh when a joke is funny...seems so small but really says a lot about knowing yourself. And what makes you laugh!

So girls, laugh all you want if his jokes are funny. But if the jokes aren't funny and you keep laughing...you're dooming yourself to an lifetime of those same unfunny jokes. And life is just TOO short for bad jokes!

Check out highlights of this year's event (including Amy's advice & some killer fashions) at the link below:

http://www.glamour.com/women-of-the-year/video/2009/watch-highlights-from-the-2009-women-of-they-year-event

Womenomics--A Good Read To Help You Toward The Life You Want!

Claire Shipman & Katty Kay--Authors of the book Womenomics.

One of my favorite books out there right now is "Womenomics." It's a great look at women in the workforce today and how they can tackle the things standing between them and the lives they really want. From when to give strategic yeses & nos to how to create your own definition of success...this is a great read for women of all ages & life paths!

Check out the Womenomics Blog at the following link: http://blogs.abcnews.com/womenomics/

Leading Ladies or The Men in Charge: Who Has The Best Leadership Qualities?

What sets women apart in the way they lead? Compassion? Their ability to build a team? Or could it be their willingness to take risks?

When you think about key leaders in your organization, community, or even around the world...who do you consider to be the best leaders? What qualities make that person a leader you admire & respect? And are those qualities associated with gender or are they qualities that good leaders have regardless of whether they wear neck ties or pumps to the office?

In this article from About.com, Linda Lowen explores that question and shares insight from some recent studies on the topic. Take a look. See what you think. Are the traits women have used to run their families and build relationships coming to be more valued in the business world? Do women make the best leaders?

ARTICLE--Qualities of Women Leaders: http://bit.ly/rldNa

Being Single Is Sounding Better & Better...

When a guy has to advertise the fact he's a good guy...is he really?!

Sometimes it gets to you...being a single girl. You wonder what it would be like to come home to someone every night. You miss the opportunity to snuggle up on the couch with your man and watch an episode of "Lost" or maybe your favorite reality TV guilty pleasure. And wouldn't it be nice to have someone listen to the reasons you're insecure about your position at work...maybe offer a little advice on how to deal with your crazy boss?

Of course being single has its upsides too. You can go the entire weeks during the winter without ever shaving your legs and no one complains. You can have an avocado & a pint of ice cream for dinner because you just don't feel like cooking...and no one complains. You can spend hours on the phone or in person with your girlfriends gabbing about the latest trends and why Jennifer Aniston is still single herself. It can be nice.

And occasionally, you'll run across something like this, which makes you actually appreciate your single-dom! Or...if you are in a relationship and perhaps wondering if you chose well...listening to this will confirm, "Hey...at least I'm not with THAT guy!"

So have a good Friday. Laugh. And revel in the fact that even though your life may not be perfect...at least you're not dating a guy who leaves voice mails that land him on local radio stations for being a tool!

"I'm a good guy..." http://bit.ly/4lwZCe

Do You Limit Your Own Success?

Is your fear holding you back?

What does your inner dialogue telling you about how far you can go in the work place?

Do you greet every day thinking, "I can DO IT!!" Or is there an inner voice (probably peppered w/ things you've heard in your past) saying, "Do you REALLY think you can do this? You better slow down and aim for something you can actually achieve."

Whatever you're experiencing, chances are you're not alone. Check out this article, which include 10 questions you can ask yourself to see if YOU might be the limiting factor in your career success. And if you're really brave, take the author's suggestion that you sit down with a group of friends & share your answers to see if you all can't climb the ladder a little faster together!

How Women Can Overcome Professional Fears: http://bit.ly/PaxtQ

When It Comes to Adversity, Are you A Carrot, An Egg, or A Cup Of Coffee?

A few weeks ago, my friend Cindi forwarded me the following story. Not typically one to read forwards, I’m not sure what compelled me to read this one. Maybe it’s because Cindi doesn’t forward stuff often and I thought it must be good if she took the time to forward it. Or maybe I just really wanted some coffee (even if only to read about it!).

After I read it I just knew it was perfect for a discussion question on the Lead Like a Girl page! So take a little me-time to read this and then ask yourself: Am I a carrot, an egg, or a cup of coffee? We’d love to hear your thoughts…so share your answer & maybe the story that tested you like the items in this story are tested.

A Carrot, An Egg, And A Cup Of Coffee
(You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again!)

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first pot she placed carrots. In the second pot she placed eggs. In the last pot she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in another bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a mug.

Turning to her daughter, she said, “Tell me what you see.” ”Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” the daughter replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?” Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. ”Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door,how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”Ask yourself this question: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Inmates warning others about domestic violence

Inmates at the Women's Community Correctional Center will put on a play about domestic violence titled "Love is Blind." In this scene, Frank, played by Karen Kaahu, screams at his wife Maile, played by Lisa Antonio.

Another amazing example of leadership! Check out this article about how women inmates in Hawaii are turning their bad experiences into a play to teach young women how to avoid domestic violence. It's like the old saying goes, "It's n...ever too late to be what you might have been." Remember that and know that no matter where you are in your life, you can be a leader, an inspiration, or a friend to someone RIGHT NOW!

Full Article: http://bit.ly/Hawaii_Prison

Lead Like a Girl...Use Social Media to Organize a Movement!

BV Thinks Pink! Dee Dee James, center, stands with dozens of pink-clad Buckeye Valley High School students in the school’s cafeteria. BVHS students organized on the Internet to wear pink in support of James, a school secretary who is fighting breast cancer. (From The Delaware Gazette, 8/27/09)

Perhaps it's because I've gotten about 3 hours of sleep for the last few nights. Perhaps it's because the woman featured in this article is a close family friend. Or perhaps it's because the kids that organized this are just so friggin' cool! Whatever the case, this article made me boo-hoo cry when I read it this morning: http://www.delgazette.com/local.asp?story=1

We often complain about "the younger generation" and they way they are constantly tied to their cell phones and facebook pages. The way they don't listen. We wonder if they'll ever be able to have quote, unquote "normal" relationships because even though they are whizzes with electronics and social media tools, they fall short when it comes to face to face interactions. And what's with the short attention span and constant need to share with the world what they're doing at this very moment? Weird.

Or is it?

Some people may not get the younger generation and wonder how they turned out this way...but they have complaints about "the older generation" too! Why can't you just let them work when there's stuff to do and enjoy life the rest of the time? Why can't you deal with change a little better? After all, there's new technology coming out every day...why can't you give up that old school cell phone for an iPhone. Oh, and learn to use facebook while you're at it...millions of other people figure it out every day. Why can't you just accept it's the new way to communicate?

This article reminds me that it's not the generation gap or changing technology that keeps us from connecting, it's our own limiting beliefs. And why would we want to stop ourselves from connecting the way they did in this little town? A student led, mini-fashion revolution spread to the staff & faculty and ended up making the first day of school one I'm sure my friend DeeDee will never forget. Imagine coming back from a summer of painful surgery & chemotherapy to a sea of pink clad staff & students saying, "we love you and support you" on the first day of school. That may be the best medicine anyone could get!

So whoever you are, young or old, ask yourself this today: How can I organize a mini-movement to show people in my life who could use a lift that there's a whole world of people out there thinking about them?

Got one? Good! Whether you call one friend and offer support or enlist the masses via your tweets today, bring the spirit of BV High School to your life and the lives of those around you. You'll be glad you did!

Lead Like a Girl by Letting Go of Your Stereotypes

Coupons...not just for girls anymore!

I seem to spend a lot of my time these days looking for subtle (or not so subtle) differences between the way men and women to things. Once I find a difference, I start thinking about it and building an essay, list or scenario about how that difference translates into leadership styles.

The other day I was clipping coupons and thought to myself, “Aha! Coupons…there’s something a guy would never do! And it must point to some difference in the way men & women handle money. Yes…I’ll look for some stats on that.”

So the seed of my idea was planted. Not long after, I discovered links to a few articles and books about women and finances. Perfect! This was coming together too easily!

Until my next trip to the local Target.

I was helping a friend of mine decorate for a big event she’d been hired to put on. The night before, I’d been up at her place until the wee hours of the morning ironing stitch witchery along the uneven cuts on some fabric so we could fashion table runners for the event’s check-in table. Now I was at Target buying strings of white lights (for ambiance) before I headed over to meet her at the venue.

Right in front of me was a young man with a baby. He appeared to be a single dad (no wedding ring). He also appeared to be doing a fabulous job managing his shopping and keeping the baby entertained. I watched as he placed his items on the belt and the clerk rang each one up. When she finished and told the man his total he said, “Actually, I have these,” as he handed her a small stack of coupons.

Eh? What was this guy doing?! In that moment a million things ran through my head:
--Is this guy serious?
--What self respecting dude uses coupons?
--Where did he get those…because I could really use a few of them?
--You just blew my stereotype. Now what am I going to write about?

A little perplexed but still certain men & women really ARE different, I continued on to the event venue to meet my friend. When I got there, she was in full party planning mode and the decorations were flying. She’d give an order and 3 or 4 guys would carry it out. In essence, she was the brain, they were the brawn!

After awhile, we’d finished the heavy lifting and were down to the little details. My friend pulled out the table runners just as the guy who’d been in charge of decorations the previous year came into the building. He headed over to our table and we all started chatting. At one point, I mentioned my late night, stitch witchery, and never wanting to see an iron again. And then this guy says, “Did you ever consider using pinking shears?”

Eh? Again…for the second time that day…a guy left me a bit speechless. Pinking shears? Since when do guys mess around with pinking shears? And what was he talking about?

“Yeah,” he continued (probably because my friend and I were staring at him a bit dumbfounded), “they’re great for doing table runners. The uneven edge hides any frayed spots or places you didn’t cut exactly straight. Saves a lot of time.”

Yep. Speechless.

We continued chatting with the man who actually knew tons about event planning & may have even given us some cooking tips…I was too shell shocked at that point to take any more in.

I know what you’re thinking. There are lots of men who clip coupons and can dish out decorating tips…and they’re all gay. Not true. Both of the guys I’d encountered were brawny, manly types. They COMPLETELY shattered the stereotype I’d been building in my head since deciding to write about coupon clipping.

Ever since that day, I’m a little bit more careful before rushing to categorize people. And you know what…I’ve been pretty surprised at some of the things I’ve learned.

Stereotypes definitely exist for a reason. In many cases, they’re totally true and can certainly provide us with clues on how to approach, interact with, and lead people. But very rarely do they tell the WHOLE story.

So let yourself be shocked by what the people in your life know, do, & enjoy. Yes, even the men. Ask them to share something surprising about themselves with you. And revel in the sameness you discover the two of you share!

Washington Post: "Fixing the Economy? It's Women's Work."

Gotta love that companies with more women in leadership positions are doing better financially! Are you able to stretch a dollar like no other?! What are your tricks & tips?

Thanks to our friend Frances who told us about this story in the Outlook section of today's Washington Post! Turns out women might be the one to save the day in these troubled economic times. What do you think? Will it be women who save the day? What do you do in your own life to save money and deal with the economy? We'd love to hear from you!

Washington Post article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/10/AR2009071002358.html

Discussion: How Do Your Photographs Show What You Value...And How Does That Translate Into Your Leadership Style?

What do your photos say about you and your leadership style?

As I was writing about the differences between men & women's photo albums and how they related to leadership styles, I started thinking about what has meant the most to me in the places I've led. My essay painted a picture that certainly holds true for me (i.e. my leadership style focuses strongly on the people) but I wonder what I may have missed...what may be different for other women.

Many of my photos are of special moments in my life...trips, achievements, summer barbecues on my patio. But the setting isn't what's most important to me...I always try to get pictures of the people who are sharing the memory with me. More specifically I try to take pictures of myself WITH the people who are sharing special moments with me. I have a thousand pictures of "me & someone" that I took with my own outstretched hand (and for the record...I've gotten pretty good at it!). Sometimes I get an offer by a passer-by to help take the picture...but I tell the person, "That's ok...this is sort of my thing!" I don't know why I do this...but in the moment it feels like I'm sharing that occasion with one person (or a few) who will be able to look back and remember that instant. If not in a memory, then when they see the photo that we took of ourselves to commemorate the moment!

The way this translates into my leadership style is that I try to create special moments for those that I lead. Sometimes it’s remembering a birthday and having a little celebration. Sometimes it’s a made up PowerPoint certificate of achievement for a silly thing that happened on a big project (“Baker of the Best Baked Goods Ever” and “Busted While Busting a Move” come to mind). Whatever it is, I try to let the members of my team know that I value them, that what they’ve done is special or important to the team, and that I do recognize their hard work…which I’m hoping for more of it in the future! And of course, I always have my camera poised to capture the moment on film!

What about you…are your photographs mostly of people and sentimental events? How does that translate into your leadership style? Or perhaps I missed the boat all together when I said it was only men who typically value titles, outcomes, and things as evidenced by their pictures of motorcycles and boats...and you feel like you belong on that list? Or maybe you’re on the list that seems to provide common ground for us all and you have pictures of the one thing you value most…your dog?!

Whatever the answer, we’d love you to share! So tell us, what do you value and how does it show up in the way you lead?

How to Lead Like a Girl through your Camera Lens

Photos tell us a lot about what people love...AND about how they lead!

What we value says a lot about how we lead. I was reminded of this the other day when a few friends posted photo albums on facebook, the subjects of which were a compilation of “my life” and/or “things I love.”

The first album I saw was posted by a male friend of mine. It had 24 pictures in all, only four of which included people. And in those pictures…the people appeared to be there merely to highlight the things they were next to. Not that the things they highlighted weren’t nice…they were. But the majority of the pictures were of inanimate objects that pointed towards my friend’s status as an owner of them. The album included pictures of two boats, a big house (complete with mini-bar, which warranted its own photo), a pool, a car, a motorcycle (which was labeled “one of my children”), a 55” TV, and a few pictures of aircraft that were part of a past life in the army.

Oh, and there was a picture of his dog.

The second album belonged to one of my girlfriends. This is an ever growing album titled “things i heart” and is currently up to 29 photos. Of those, only five do NOT include people. Her photos include her husband, her sister, a picture of her with her dad, her new niece, her sisters-in-law, her cousin, her friends, a photo from one of the Muslim embassies on Embassy Day with her wrapped in a makeshift headdress, and a lovely shot of her next to Kermit the Frog in the Smithsonian. Even the photos that did not include people had clever captions. They weren’t just pictures of things…they really told a story about this girl and what she loves. They included a lovely bell tower in Puerto Rico, a fine example of German engineering (I know because the caption told me so), a rain storm she got to watch from indoors rather than being in it, a pink martini from her birthday dinner, and an old floppy disk with the caption:

“i heart finding REALLY OLD random floppy disks in the desk drawers at work!! this reminds me, i also heart the 80s!!!(ps, this is just about the actual size of this thing...it's HUGE!!)"

Oh yeah…and she also had quite a few pictures of her dog.

The difference in these albums really made me wonder how that tied to the way men and women lead. If these albums are any indication, it seems that men are more focused on the mission. Stuff. Titles. Outcomes. Having something to show for all the hard work. Did we get a check in the “W” column or was the project a failure?

Women on the other hand often find their value in relationships, experiences and what happens on the journey. Maybe the project didn’t go as well as it could have…but the team got along fantastically and built camaraderie for the next big project. No need to hold off celebrating until the end of the project…let’s find a way to make the milestones fun events in themselves!

Neither of these leadership styles is right or wrong…and truth be told, most teams would benefit from a little of both. But in our haste to sometimes strive to fit into a “man’s world” let’s not forget all the value women bring as leaders.

So celebrate people’s birthdays. Take a long lunch to pat your team on the back for reaching a big milestone within a project. And take pictures of the people. The events. And yes, even the achievements themselves!

Remember the personal photos you keep in your office say a lot about you to your team and co-workers. Our pictures reflect what we love. What we love reflects our values. And our values strongly influence how we lead.

But no matter what we value, be it our achievements or our teams, we can all agree on one thing. Everyone values their dogs!

Discussion: How do you feel about the word "girl?" Love it? Hate it? Would rather be called a woman/lady/chick? Let us know!

Bringing in cake to celebrate successes...something girl leaders love to do!

When I started writing and collecting stories under the banner "Lead Like a Girl," I thought it was a fun way to let people know the stories were about women in leadership and make it a positive spin on the old adage, "You hit like a girl!"

Along the way, I've found people either love it or hate it...there doesn't seem to be a middle ground. On the positive side, the feedback I've gotten is:
--It's fun
--It's youthful
--I love it...I want to learn more!

On the opposite spectrum, I've also gotten some people who are a bit miffed by the name. These folks tend to focus specifically on the "girl" word. Some of the feedback I get from people who don't like the name is:
--It's demeaning
--I'm skilled and knowledgeable...I'm way past the "girl" stage
--I prefer to be called xxxxxxx (insert woman, lady, chick, female, or your choice of word here)

I'm intrigued by the polarization the word girl seems to cause. My intent was to take women back to a time when they weren't so focused on trying to fit in to a "man's world" and just did what came naturally to them as leaders.

For example, when my best friend & I were co-editors of the yearbook our senior year in high school, we baked a cake for each person's birthday as it came up throughout the year. This seemed to me to be something a girl was more focused on...remembering birthdays and celebrating. People loved the attention (or maybe they just wanted the cake) and seemed to genuinely appreciate the effort we made which was our way to say, "Thanks for being part of the team and all your hard work…even on your birthday!"

So good or bad, I'm sticking with "Lead Like a Girl."

What do you think? Are you a girl? A woman? A lady? A chick? Or do you have the ability to be each of them when you need to and enjoy your unique ability to do so?

How to Lead Like a Girl Artistically!

Check out http://www.leannelainefineart.com/, a cool gallery of "women in wine" art you're sure to love!

Gotta love twitter for the exposure to cool things you never would have otherwise stumbled upon! Here's a link to Leanne Laine's gallery with some pretty cool pieces. She's internationally known as "The Women in Wine" Artist. If you're a woman and/or like wine...you'll love these pieces!

So stop by & support a cool girl with cool art. Enjoy!

How to Lead Like a Girl...Road Trip Style!

Nothing says fun like a road trip...but what does that mean about how we lead?

Have you ever noticed the differences between men & women on a road trip? I mean aside from the obvious. Clearly only one group would choose to listen to Metallica’s Greatest Hits half way across country. Have you ever taken it a step farther and thought about how these differences might translate into how we lead? Ok, maybe that’s just me…I seem to look for leadership in everything. But I swear it’s true…the way we take road trips translates into how we lead.

I’m guessing for the most part most girls have been on a “guys only” road trip. We are, after all, girls! Doesn’t our mere presence CHANGE the way the road trip happens? Of course. But…having gone to a mostly male university and then spending seven years in the army, I had the (mis?)fortune of sometimes being viewed as “one of the guys.” It was almost as if they forgot I wore lip gloss and high heels when I wasn’t in uniform. Sheesh!

The good news is that these adventures let me see some interesting difference between the male & female way of life and start to understand how the other half lives.

So let me paint a picture for you.

Girls on the Open Road
When setting out on a road trip, girls get a little giddy and excited to be spending time together. Everyone piles in the car, no real worry about who sits where as we know there will be lots of giggling and conversation no matter where we may end up in the car. There may be a specific destination or purpose for the trip…or maybe it’s just a trip to the mall to grab lunch and see what’s on sale.

Girls start cruising down the open road (or around town) with a list of topics we can’t wait to discuss. Did you see last night’s episode of our favorite show? Who are you dating and is it going well? What are you using in your hair…it looks fabulous! How are the kids and have they done anything funny lately? What’s going on at work and is your boss still a huge pain in the a**? And on & on. Never once on a girls’ road trip have I run out of things to talk about. Ever!

Sometimes when the standard topics run dry, we end up talking about spirituality, deep feelings, and I’m pretty sure we’ve solved major world issues once or twice…all while cruising down the highway listening to a road trip CD of our favorite songs, which somebody burned just for this particular adventure.

And speaking of music, here’s where we have a MAJOR difference from the guys.
When we get in the car and pop in the CD burned just for the trip (which probably includes at least one song by the Indigo Girls, usually ‘Closer to Fine’ or ‘Galileo’), we set the volume to low and commence conversation immediately with our life’s soundtrack in the background.

When that Indigo Girls song does start playing, someone in the front responds to the phrase, “Oh, I love this one…turn it up!” At this point, the music is blared and the passengers sing along to the parts of the song they know. EVERYONE joins in on the chorus, using hairbrushes or water bottles as make-shift microphones. One talented person usually knows how to sing harmony and for just a moment we transform into our own version of a girl-band (30-something or 40-something style). It’s a hoot!

After the song is over, the volume returns to low and the conversation continues where it left off. Until the next favorite song comes on…then the singing scene happens all over again! But the ride is definitely a conversation punctuated with bouts of singing as loud as we can into our Evian bottles.

If, for some reason, girls get lost on a road trip, they pull into a gas station to ask for directions. This is a great chance to use the restroom, restock on fun candy you only find at gas stations, and chat with people who might know about interesting stuff to do in the area. Also, girls are never lost…they’re just on what my friend Sara likes to call, a “tiki tour.” Besides…the wrong turns are often the best adventures! Not knowing where you are just means you might accidentally stumble across a hidden road trip treasure like the world’s largest ball of yarn or a goat farm in Amish country where you can take a buggy ride with Joseph, the 80-year old Amish farmer. What’s the down side of that?!

Purpose of the trip: irrelevant…the bonding is fantastic! (**Note: The original purpose is accomplished…only in a much grander fashion than possibly imagined!)

Guys on the Open Road
When guys set out on a car trip, there is definitely a pecking order of who sits where and it is known well before the guys ever approach the car. Just like the show Entourage. Have you ever seen Vince anywhere but the front seat? Or Turtle anywhere but behind the wheel? Guys need to have a specific destination to hit and if it involves shopping, there’s a list…or at least a specific item in mind. Guys want to be in and out of the store as quickly as possible. No dilly-dallying.

The play list on a guy’s trip is quite different than their female counterparts. Guys do not have special CDs just for their road trips. They have an iPod with all the Metallica, Pink Floyd, and AC/DC songs ever written. Recorded and live versions.

When they get in the car, the volume is already pumped up pretty high…and there’s no need to turn it down just because there are passengers. The volume is probably what the passengers are hoping for and expect.

Driving commences and the music continues to play loud and long. There’s no reason to turn it down until one guy adjusts the volume and says to the rest of the car, “Are you hungry?” This means HE is hungry and wants to stop. Everyone generally agrees to stop at the next exit and then the music returns to its full volume.

And just for the record…guys don’t get lost. And more importantly, no guy would ever suggest to another guy that he pull in somewhere and ask for directions. There’s a code…and that would definitely be breaking it.

Purpose of the trip: to get where they are going.

So what does this say about how we lead?

Well…I think it says a lot! More importantly, I think there are some really positive things women naturally do that they might not recognize as talents, skills or gifts. Let’s take a look at the top three things women do on road trips that translate into smart business:

1. Women tend to create environments where open communication is easy. Not only is it easy, it’s expected. Everyone gets to contribute. Ideas vetted by people with opposing views tend to be stronger and when everyone is encouraged to participate early in the process, mistakes can be identified sooner at a lower cost.


2. Women, while like men in that they set out to accomplish a specific mission, are open to detours that may lead to better ideas. Making great time to the hotel is good. Making good to time to the hotel and getting to tour the nation’s largest basket factory…which is ACTUALLY shaped like a basket…is even better. In business this could mean stumbling upon the next big thing because you weren’t in a hurry to go directly from A to B.


3. Not having the same pecking order every time leads to well-rounded car-trippers (Hey look…I can backseat drive AND operate the radio). It also leads to people who can step into other roles when there are changes within an organization. If all I’ve ever done is sit in the backseat, I may not be a good navigator when you need one. And you’re going nowhere fast without a good navigator. Women tend to give different people chances to learn and grow into the roles they may step into in the future.

And there you have it…proof that singing into your water bottle and discussing hair products really does lead to better business decisions. So go ahead. Burn a CD of your favorite tunes, gather your girlfriends, and take the road less traveled. You’re next great work or life idea may just come to you on the 2nd chorus of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun!”

Job Resources Geared Towards Women

www.makeithappenforwomen.com

Are you looking for a job? Has this economy got you down? Check out MiHW (Make it Happen for Women) for a bevy of job-search related tools geared towards women! Their marketing toolbox (under the services tab) can help you figure out what kind of resume you want to create for your search. Confused about the difference between an e-resume & a CV? Stop by & get some clarity! Visit www.makeithappenforwomen.com.

Weekly Discussion: Do you feel like you failed "Lipstick 101?" What's the yardstick you use to measure your girl-ness?

Who gets to decide whether "Lipstick 101" or "Athlete 101" is more valuable? What kind of 101-girl are you? Click "comments" below and share your 101 tale!

I was having a mini-reunion brunch at my house yesterday of women in the local area who graduated from West Point. We're a constantly-on-the-go kind of crowd, so getting eight of us together all at one time was a small miracle.


We did some catching up and chatting about what we've been up to. No one in this group is still in the military and since getting out, we've all gone in a million different directions. Among us we had two lawyers, a Harvard business school grad, a graduate of the Kennedy School of Government, a teacher, a government military intelligence analyst, a small business owner, a government contractor, three moms, a budding author, an independent jewelry stylist/consultant, the COO for a charitable foundation...the list goes on and on. How could eight people do so much?! It was all at once inspiring and exhausting to think about how far & how fast this group had come since our days in itchy gray wool at the academy!

One of my favorite moments of the day (aside from the story of one girl who'd recently gone on a glass-blowing trip with her colleagues and created a horribly misshapen paperweight that was not at all appropriate for a work environment...if you get my drift!) was a comment by one of the girls about not having gone to "Girl School." She said she failed Lipstick 101.

Lipstick 101? How many women out there feel like they're in the same boat? Fashion and make-up aren't your thing. You feel like you somehow missed this class and therefore never got your "Girl School " diploma?!

The funny thing is, when I looked at this girl, I saw someone powerful, amazingly smart, and definitely feminine in her own way. I wondered who's yardstick she'd been measuring herself against to determine she failed Lipstick 101? Perhaps the owner of that yardstick failed Chap stick & Go 101!

The best thing about women is their ability to fill SO MANY ROLES!!! They are all different but equally important! Where would we be without all the women we know who are moms, coaches, sisters, executives, and friends. And where would we be if they weren't all so uniquely different?!

So this week's discussion question is about passing (or failing) the 101-series classes in "Girl School." Which 101-program track did you take? Lipstick 101? Athlete 101? Get it Done 101? What's the best part about being who you are...whatever "Girl School" program you graduated from?!

Discussion Question: Have you ever been "punished" or held back at work for being prettier or smarter than your boss?

Do feel you have ever been passed over, talked down to or even let go because you were prettier or smarter than your boss? Perhaps she (or he) didn't like the competition (whether you thought you were being competitive or not).

There's a book out called "Tripping the Prom Queen: The Truth About Women & Rivalry" all about how women sabotage each other in the work place. Why does that happen? What is it in us that flares up and wants to stop others that are more successful than we are? Why can we not just be supportive and help others succeed recognizing that in their success, we are elevating our own standing as well?

I'm remided of something my mom told me about crabs. Or more specifically, crabs in a basket. If you go crabbing, catch one crab and place him in a basket, you have to keep an eye on him because he will continuously try to escape until he is free. If, however, you catch multiple crabs and put them in a basket, you don't have to watch them at all. This is because when they are in a group, the crabs will not help each other escape. In fact, when one starts to leave the basket, the others will pull him back in (very Godfather, don't you think!). They literally seal their collective fate by ensuring NONE of the crabs escape.

Have you been a crab on the run who's been pulled back in by the others around you, therefore slowing or stopping your success? Or perhaps you can think back to a time when you've pulled back an escaping crab to make yourself feel better.

Why do we do this? Or better yet, how can we learn NOT to do this and support the women around us who want to accomplish amazing things?

Discuss! Just click on the comments section below and tell us what you think!

Lead Like a Girl by Leading Like You Shop!

Girls KNOW how to shop! And guess what...they know how to lead too! Who knew they were linked?! :-)

The birthday girl (Steph--in the center with her vibrant pink dress) & her crew at Barbourville Winery where our wine pourer Jeff informed us of his theory on the differences between how men & women shop.

It’s funny how people say things to you that make you think, “Yeah…why didn’t I think of that?!” I had one such experience this weekend while I was wine tasting with seven girls out at Barbourville Winery in Charlottesville, VA.

I’m the first to admit that seven girls doing anything is not a recipe for going unnoticed. Add to that it was one girl’s birthday, that everyone looked smashing since we had just brunched at Kenswick Hall down the road and suddenly you have all eyes on the girls!

Our wine pourer, Jeff, was totally amused. He had all sorts of fun commentary for us (including my favorite, “You spill on it, you buy it!”). He even let us come back behind the bar for a commemorative photo of the day, which he harassed some passer-by to come take, diverting the poor man from his trip to the restroom.

In all the madness (and shortly after the ‘you spill on it, you buy it’ comment), Jeff asked if we had ever noticed the difference between the way men and women shopped. Huh?

Clearly there are many differences…the main one being most men I know would rather take a hot poker in the eye than go shopping. But Jeff had a whole different take on it. One I thought would be appropriate to share here under our banner of “Lead Like a Girl!”

Jeff said if you ever look at men in stores, they aren’t really touching anything. They have their hands in their pockets or behind their backs and make a beeline directly to the particular item they came in to buy. He enlightened us as to the reason why, sharing that since they were little, most boys’ mothers shouted a constant axiom of, “Don’t touch that…hands off!”

This apparently carried over into adulthood for Jeff (and he swears he sees other men do it too) as he continues to shop with his hands in his pockets, not touching anything but the item he intends to purchase. He said he marvels at the way women shop…feeling textures, touching every thing they pass, discovering new items they hadn’t even known they wanted five minutes ago. They shop with their hands everywhere BUT in their pockets.

I couldn’t help but to think this is another reflection on how we lead. Men do tend to be more direct and to the point. They go after precisely what they want and view spending time on items not on that path as a waste of time. And often, they prefer those they lead act the same way. Don’t fool around with things other than the mission. Get in, get out.

Women, on the other hand, want to “touch everything”…just like when they shop. They want to know the people they are working with (“How’s your family?” or “What did you do this weekend?”). They like to explore alternative ideas that might provide a better way of operating. They don’t view any of this as a waste of time, but rather “trying ideas on for size” if you will. If they work, great! Let’s buy ‘em! If not, we’ll grab another idea to try on and see where that gets us. We could leave with nothing or we might just find that one item that becomes indispensable…the one you didn’t even know about five minutes ago. Either way, it’s the journey that is important, not the destination.

Whether it’s shopping or brainstorming ideas for a big project, women are ok with wandering about looking for just the right thing…even if they have no idea what that right thing is. The journey leaves room for others to contribute, give ideas, make suggestions, or even be the one to provide the perfect solution.

No hands in our pockets here. We want people to touch, try-on, and get messy if it will help us achieve our vision.

That is precisely how I found a pair of Dolce & Gabana, pink brocade shoes once worn by Oprah. And how I was able to purchase them to use in my work and therefore make them tax deductible (thanks, Mom for that great idea).

So go. Shop. Try things on. And be ok with being messy and know that you might find something you didn’t even know you couldn’t live without. Then do the same thing in your life and work. You’ll be amazed with the creativity and vision you’ll inspire in those around you!

Lead Like a Girl and Get Money!

Are you a smart woman with a dream? The Smart Women Grant program could be just what you need to take your ideas to the next level!

So there I was, looking for some inspirational story about women to post on the blog for today and I ran across the following story in the Argus Observer: Grants for Women Available (http://www.argusobserver.com/articles/2009/05/20/news/us/doc4a142e209b679292096523.txt)
Turns out some brilliant bank has decided to give 6 micro-loans of $3,000 each to women in Idaho & Utah who are doing great things. They are calling the program "Smart Women Grants." How fantastic is that?!

I'm pretty inspired to know there are already some recipients who have done great things. I'm even more inspired to think that maybe someone who reads this will BE one of the next recipients!

Are you in Idaho or Utah? Do you know a fabulous woman who is that could use a little extra capital to grow an idea she is passionate about?! Get her to check out this article and apply for a grant! No reason she shouldn't be the next person to inspire women to follow their dreams!

Oh...and if she does, be sure to tell us about it!

Do you have a hero who Leads Like a Girl? Who is she and why is she your hero?

Do you know anyone who can make a cake like this without a pattern? Seriously...the tank tracks are made of mini-Oreos & black licorice. Now THAT's a great way to use your resources!

Everyone has a hero...who's yours? Who do you know that "Leads Like a Girl" and inspires you to want to find your own inner Girl Leader?

Being single, I love my ability to choose what I want to do every day without having to answer to anyone. Ah, the freedom! BUT...I am also a wee little bit jealous of my best friend and her family. She's an awesome mom with two little boys (three if you count her big boy/husband!). Every time I see her in action, I am amazed at how effectively she runs her home, creates community among friends, holds down a job, and supports her husband's continued growth as he pursues a degree (actually...PURSUED a degree...he graduated this month!).

The woman is a hero in my eyes because she never complains about a lack of resources, how life is so unfair, or anything else I hear most people complain of daily as they sip their Starbuck's lattes on the way to the metro. She simply finds a way to make the best of every situation.

If there's a bargain, she'll find it. I've never seen anyone who can stretch a dollar so far. She knows exactly when things go on sale, is tuned in to all the good coupons and discounts, and can make ordinary items into extraordinary displays (the woman made a tank cake for her son's Army-themed birthday party with licorice and mini-Oreos...it was incredible!).

She's also an incredible mom. Patient but firm...just like Super Nanny! She has well behaved kids (not easy for two little boys). Honestly...they're the kind of kids that make you think you might want one of your own!

And her marriage is based on respect. Sure there are ups, downs and sideways hard times...but I've never seen anything but love and respect between her and her husband. They've been married longer than any of my friends and just like their kids...their marriage makes you think the institution may not be so bad after all!

So, that is why my best friend is my hero. She makes being a super mom, wife & woman look easy. If even SOME of the leaders in corporate America had 1/10th of her creativity, respect for others, and ability to work within a budget...the world would be a better place!

So who's the woman you know that makes you say, "WOW! You're my hero!"? Click on comment below to share your hero's story & why you love her!

Laugh Like a Girl...Because Laughter Really Is the Best Medicine!

Nothing beats the sound of laughter. It makes good times better & bad times bearable. So find yourself some girlfriends & have a good laugh this weekend!

The thing I love about girlfriends is their ability to make us laugh. When times are good, laughter makes them even better. But when times are bad...sometimes the laughter is what gets us through. I've laughed/cried through many a break-up with my girlfriends on the other end of the line or sitting with me in my living room as I experience a mini-meltdown.

But through it all, we always find a way to laugh. And it's a good thing...since laughter really does have medicinal properties. In fact, research shows that laughter:
Strengthens the immune system


Improves breathing, arterial blood flow, digestion, and sleep
Adjusts blood pressure and blood sugar
Relaxes muscles
Reduces pain
Helps people get along better
Relieves stress, depression, anger and anxiety

So how's that for something to make you smile. Or better yet...LAUGH! So thanks so all the girlfriends who've been there to help each other laugh. Make it a point to do a little more of it...call an old girlfriend this weekend and reconnect over a laugh!

And now, some random laughter info...just for fun!

If you've ever wanted to study laughter, find out why the phrase "laughter is the best medicine" is true, or become a CLL--Certified Laugh Leader (Really! I've met a few and they are a HOOT!) check out these sites:

Laughter Therapy websites:
http://www.teehee.com/
http://www.laughtertherapy.com/
http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/



Or you can check out what NPR has to say about the growing popularity of this trend. Yes...even NPR is recognizing the importance of laughter:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5165226

How to Lead Like a Girl in a Down Economy

Check out the Greater Washington Clothing Swap's Facebook page. Or better yet, attend one of these awesome events and come away with something 'new to you!'

Fashion is fun! Clothing swaps can make everything old new again! So attend one or organize your own to update your summer wardrobe!

I love to shop. I mean LOVE it! Any other girls out there with me? Clothes, shoes, handbags...they're all so much fun!

But let's not kid ourselves...the economy isn't what it was a few years ago and some of us don't feel quite as good about buying a new pair of shoes for our closets (this is a real sacrifice for me...some of my friends call me" Little Imelda" if that gives you any idea how much I love shoes!).

But who says we have to BUY something to have a new & fabulous outfit?!

Clothing Swaps have become all the rage across the US since the economy took a turn for the worse. They've been featured in several magazines including Real Simple, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Today Show, CBS This Morning...they've even been mentioned on Oprah! In fact, someone started a whole website dedicated to clothing swaps and how to host them: http://www.clothingswaps.com/in-the-news/.

Leading like a girl in the truest sense, my friend Frances has organized an entire organization for women who want to participate in these events in DC. It's called the Greater Washington Clothing Swap (she has a facebook page...check it out! Or you can follow her on Twitter: Gidget654). The next event is Sunday, June 28 at 2:00pm. See the facebook page for more details.

She has taken a small gathering of friends trading their closet cast-offs and turned it into a major event including a chance to edit your closet, network, grab a bite to eat and a glass of something tasty...and even leave with a goody bag! Plus, she's coordinated with Goodwill to come pick up the items that no one takes (and to provide you with tax donation slips!). How's that for one stop shopping?!

So...if the economy has you down but you still need a few items to add that va-va-voom to your summer wardrobe, consider a clothing swap. Your friends will thank you for it and you'll all walk away looking fabulous!

And get creative...no reason to confine our swaps to clothes. Think big. Got a bedspread that's in great condition but you're looking for a new color in your bedroom? Try a home decor swap. Really! When you lead like a girl...the sky's the limit!

Motherhood Knows No Boundaries!

My friend Cori sent out this video a little earlier today (thanks, Cori!). It is completely heart warming and shows that humans aren't the only ones who know how to Lead Like Girls!

This clip makes me want to give a shout out to all the great moms out there who don't just take care of their own kids...but whatever neighborhood kinds they find in their houses too! Keep up that awesome mothering!

Today in Womens' History: Florence Nightengale born in 1820

Florence Nightingale
May 12, 1820-August 13, 1910

You may think you know Florence Nightingale...but just scroll through this brief bio (or skip straight to the "fun facts" and pithy quote) and see what new things you learn about "The Lady with the Lamp!"

Everyone knows Florence Nightingale is practically synonymous with the nursing profession. Known as a pioneer in the field, she established herself as a competent nursing administrator during the Crimean War, where her insistence on sanitary conditions cut the death rate considerably. The mortality rate at the military hospital was 60% when she arrived and only 2% six months later. Throughout her life, she continued to advance the field providing better health service and opportunities for women at the same time.

Besides her dedication to nursing during the Crimean War, she accomplished a number of other impressive tasks in her life as well. Ms. Nightingale, although unable to be appointed to the Royal Commission on Health of the Army because she was a women, wrote their 1,000-page detailed report leading to a major overhaul of army medical care. She authored several books in her lifetime including Notes on Nursing: What It Is, and What It Is Not, which became the cornerstone for nursing textbooks of the era. She was also quite the fundraiser, bringing in over £59,000 to open the Nightingale Training School for Nurses in London. At one point she even consulted to Queen Victoria & Prince Albert on sanitation issues in India.

But here are some other little know (and dare I say fun) facts about Ms. Nightingale:

--At the age of 20, she had to fight her parents for the right to get tutoring in math. How many moms out there wish their kids were willing to fight for a math tutor?!

--Turns out, Florence Nightingale was quite the women's-libber. In her book Suggestions for Thought to Searchers after Religious Truths (1859), she argued strongly for the removal of restrictions that prevented women having careers. So, if you're reading this from your desk...silently thank Florence Nightingale for your ability to have a job!


--Her own health was quite poor after the Crimean War. It declined steadily until she was blind and bed-ridden by 1895, requiring full-time nursing care for the last 15 years of her life. Guess it's a good thing she fought for well-trained nurses, huh?!


--She is rumored to have owned more than 60 cats. 60! Couple that with the fact she never married and I'm feeling less & less like the crazy cat lady with my two unruly felines.


So now you know the real story behind Florence Nightingale. Nurse. Hero. Lover of cats. God rest her soul!

A quote from Florence Nightingale:
"Women never have a half-hour in all their lives (excepting before or after anybody is up in the house) that they can call their own, without fear of offending or of hurting someone. Why do people sit up so late, or, more rarely, get up so early? Not because the day is not long enough, but because they have 'no time in the day to themselves."

How To Lead Like A Girl From the Bottom of Your Purse

Remember when you were 7? And you could carry a purse the size of a checkbook because all you had to put in it was chapstick and bubble gum (and maybe your $10 allowance if you were lucky).

Boy how times change.

As we get older, our purses seem to grow exponentially. First we hit high school and chapstick becomes lip gloss, a compact, mascara, and 3 colors of eye shadow. We're also much more conscious of what our hair looks like so a brush and mini-bottle of hairspray are added to the mix. Soon we're 16 and the keys to the car become our next essential. Somewhere along the line we get a cell phone (although nowadays, that might be happening at age 7 too!) and our little purses are no longer so little.

As we progress into the work world, our office shoes also need a space (because face it, we're not wearing our Jimmy Choo's on the walk to work...those bad boys will never see anything but carpet) as do a reusable travel mug and water bottle so we don't keep adding to the problem with the landfills.

And for those with kids, there's a whole separate purse full of bottles, blankets & binkis (hopefully one without pastel versions of Pooh & friends to preserve at least some of our dignity as we change our babies in some crazy places because hey, when nature calls...we have to answer!).

I was reminded of just how miraculous our purses can be when a friend of mine marveled and what I seemed to carry with me at all times. He laughed because I had specifically stopped to clear out my purse before heading out to spend a day with him being tourists in our own city, yet still pulled out a myriad of items throughout the day.

I had my camera to snap pictures of our adventures. And an extra battery when the first one died. I had lip gloss and a mirror to reapply my perfect pout after our stop at Starbucks. When it started to rain I pulled out my perfectly, purse-sized umbrella. There was hand sanitizer for the times I just had to pick up disgusting but oh-so-exciting-to-find money on the ground (we found 50 cents that day). But what I think got him was the microphone I had opted to leave in my purse in case I felt like breaking into song at any point during the day (which I did).

The point is, women are ready for just about anything based on what we keep in our purses (and if you don't have a microphone in yours, I highly recommend one. Especially one with a button that gives you a laugh track or round of applause for a particularly well performed action).

There's no class on "how to pack a purse" or "what you'll need in the big bad world." We all just seem to intuitively know what we'll need given the situations we face on a daily basis. And we prepare accordingly.

I find that women lead in much the same way.

As we grow, we tuck away life experiences and lessons learned to access at just the right time down the road. Somewhere along our journey as leaders, we swap our hot pink, Hello Kitty mini-purses for full-fledged grown-up totes and look down to realize we're capable of leading families, communities, and corporations.

But don't fret...for nothing is lost. Although most women can reach into their bag-o-tricks to solve a crisis, plan the meals, schedule a conference call, and write a major proposal all before noon...they probably still have the chapstick and bubble gum in a side zipper compartment too.

How to Lead Like a Girl When The Team Can't Wait For You

Have you ever wanted something so much that it almost blinded you? In fact, the wanting is so strong you almost forgot how you thought you could get it in the first place? And then one of your girlfriends comes up with an idea that makes you say, "Why couldn't I think of that?!" And by the time you know what's going on, she's already taken a step on your behalf to push you closer to the goal she knows you're trying to achieve.

Who's leading who?!

Whether you're leading a team or yourself, sometimes other people just can't wait for you to act on the possibilities they see. And that's ok.

Leading like a girl has a bit to do with believing in the brilliance of others and knowing that leadership is a dance that sometimes means you have to follow (but not always like proper dance etiquette might suggest).

So when your batteries are running low and you don't have the energy to direct, lead or even suggest to people what they need to do...sit back and let them surprise you with their creativity. It might be some of the best leading you'll ever do!

How to Lead Like a Girl When the Government Doesn't Step Up

Did you know that Mount Vernon (George Washington's home) is not a state park? Or even a federal landmark? In fact when the estate was in horrible disrepair and Washington's ancestors asked the government if they'd like to buy it to preserve the home of our nation's founding father...they said, "No thanks."

Can you imagine? The government was too busy to step back and recognize the sad impact not preserving this historical landmark might have on generations to come. Now...this was 1854 and there was some pretty big trouble brewing as the tensions leading to the civil war mounted. But isn't that how life works? Don't the best opportunities come to us and the least opportune times?

Maybe it takes leading like a girl to deal with all the ups and downs.

Thankfully, Ann Pamela Cunningham was up to the challenge. Her mother had sent her the following note after traveling from Pennsylvania to South Carolina along the Potomac River:

“It was a lovely moonlit night that we went down the Potomac. I went on deck as the bell tolled and we passed Mount Vernon. I was painfully distressed at the ruin and desolation of the home of Washington, and the thought passed through my mind: Why was it the women of his country did not try to keep it in repair, if the men could not do it?”

At a time when it was thought appropriate for a woman’s name to appear in a newspaper only on the occasion of her marriage or death, Miss Cunningham sent a letter to the Charleston Mercury, making a plea to the ladies of the south to join together and save Mount Vernon. This courageous action resulted in the formation of small societies and donations throughout the south. Miss Cunningham increased her outreach and eventually formed the Mount Vernon Ladies Association. In 1858, the association purchased Mount Vernon and began restoring the dilapidated property to its full glory. The property has been fully woman owned and operated ever since.

WOW! It took the nations mothers, daughters, sisters, and wives to recognize the importance of preserving the history and legacy of our founding fathers. Hats off (or perhaps bonnets?) to these pioneer women who pushed the boundaries of how women were allowed to lead at the time.

Check out this link for more on the full story and some of the other amazing women involved in the preservation of this historic home: http://www.mountvernon.org/visit/plan/index.cfm/pid/811/

What opportunity are others missing where you can step in and lead like a girl? The fate of the nation (or maybe the world) could be counting on you!